There are so many funny thoughts that come to mind on how to open this story. To save space, I think it’s safe to say that Mellisa Mansfield is in deep doo-doo.
I guess Florida Highway Patrol Trooper P.E. Oneyear smelled something rotten whenever he happened upon a suspicious vehicle on the side of the road.
While patrolling northbound Interstate 95 on April 7, Oneyear noticed the vehicle on an emergency shoulder with a woman squatting beside it with her pants down.
According to the incident report, the woman was defecating.
Mansfield was making poo just six miles south of I-95's St. Lucie County Rest Area, which has restrooms, picnic tables, pet exercise areas and outside night lights, among other amenities, according to the Florida Department of Transportation web site.
Trooper Oneyear stopped and asked the woman what she was doing. Stating the obvious, she indicated that she was taking going to the bathroom. The trooper asked for her license, but she said she didn't have it on her. While she did give the officer the name Mellisa Mansfield, she couldn’t provide him with an address.
It probably didn’t help the already awkward situation whenever Mansfield told the trooper, “I’m not trying to go to jail tonight.”
When asked about the vehicle parked next to the bowel contents, Mansfield said it belonged to her boyfriend, whose name she couldn’t provide. After dispatchers contacted the true owner of the vehicle, who said he had never heard of Mansfield, they realized the car was stolen. The owner said the vehicle was parked at his Key West home. He went to get something, and when he returned it was missing.
Mansfield was arrested on charges including
The records did not indicate if Mansfield at least remembered to steal toilet paper from Key West either.
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