Potsdam, New York There is nothing that makes me cringe more, than the thought of my meat being rubbed against by some other dude’s meat – especially the meat of the douchebag pictured to your left.
His name is John Allison, a 41-year-old Potsdam man, who was jailed Wednesday after he allegedly pleasured himself with a stick of pepperoni at a local grocery store – before placing it back on the shelf for another to enjoy.
The New York state police report that Allison headed for the meat isle at the Hannaford Grocery store in St. Lawrence Plaza, grabbed a stick of pepperoni, and proceeded to rub his exposed penis against it.
After pulsating all over the pepperoni, Allison placed the meat back on the shelf and attempted to exit the store.
A loss prevention officer who witnessed the act over surveillance video called police and provided them with video of what had transpired.
Allison was charged with public lewdness and fourth-degree criminal mischief. He is currently being held in lieu of $1,000 cash bail or $2,000 bond.
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