Florida Cop Wannabe Darren Walker Flashes Fake Police Badge for Free Entry to Strip Club

The Ladies of Bare Assets

Melbourne, Florida

Some dudes will do anything for a free peek-a-boo. And that is exactly the mindset of one dumbass down in Florida named Darren Walker.

Police say the 24-year-old Walker walked into Bare Assets on West New Haven Avenue in Melbourne with an Ammomack County Sheriff’s Office badge he bought off the internet. The strip club, which I am sure is now interviewing for a new door guy/girl, waived the cover charge for Walker and a friend.

The club’s manager told Brevard County Sheriff’s Deputies that Walker claimed to be an undercover federal agent and wanted to question and arrest a woman named “Mason.” When the real cops arrived, Walker said he had not been employed by any law enforcement agency since 2011.

Walker allowed deputies to search his car – they found a brown “Deputy Sheriff” hat, an expandable baton, handcuffs, a blue strobe light and an orange traffic vest.

Walker was arrested early Thursday for impersonating a law enforcement officer. He is being held in Brevard County Jail.

By the way, I think this might be Mason. Sinister has a few questions for her also.

Wisconsin Stripper and Half-Naked Steak Thief Elizabeth Hoen Busted After Visiting Meat Market

Elizabeth Hoen (Facebook)

Wausau, Wisconsin

I’ve heard it said, you can meet some pretty interesting people in the grocery store meat isle. And, according to police, Elizabeth Hoen is an interesting one indeed.

Hoen, an 18-year-old stripper, was jailed Friday after she allegedly stole three steaks from a local grocery store, then stood half-naked in front of nearby catering company.

According to police, officers were dispatched to 131 W. Thomas in Wausau after witnesses called to report a woman who was naked from the waist down standing near the location.

By the time officers arrived, Hoen had apparently put her pants back on, but took to running when she spotted the badges. A male companion that was standing with Hoen also fled the scene.

Officers, who chased Hoen down, found three steaks in her purse that had been stolen from a nearby grocery store. The male companion that she was with was not captured and hasn't been identified.

Store sales records indicated that no steaks had been sold for the day. Video surveillance later confirmed that Hoen and the male companion had been inside the store's meat department earlier in the day.

Hoen, the stripping steak thief, was booked into jail and charged with shoplifting and resisting arrest. She has been arrested twice in the past 3 months on similar charges.

New York MILF Judy Viger Jailed After Hiring Strippers for Son’s 16th Birthday Party

Judy Viger and Son

South Glens Falls, NY

Hey moms and dads, hiring strippers for the birthdays of your underage children is probably not a good idea, especially if you live in South Glenn Falls.

And, as it turns out, one area mother had to learn the hard way. Police arrested 33-year-old Judy Viger for allegedly organizing and paying for a stripper surprise for her son's 16th birthday.

Viger was charged with five counts of endangering the welfare of a child. The incident reportedly occurred at Spare Time Bowling Center in South Glens Falls, N.Y., in November.

According to police, Viger hired two women to dance with (and on) teens at the upstate bowling alley. The news outlet notes that pictures from the party appeared to show a "scantily clad, tattooed woman clinging upside down to a seated teen."

Saratoga County District Attorney James Murphy said that police had interviewed numerous witnesses and parents. Officials said some children at the party were as young as 13.

Viger has a few choice words for critics, via her Facebook page. She posted:

Gotta love people talking trash on national tv that call themselves mothers... If u knew anything about a mother/son relationship u would know the worst pain u can cause a kid is trashing their mother... I'm sorry while a nanny is busy taking care of your kids I raised my son... I changed his diapers, kissed his boo boos, taught him how to ride a bike, went to school plays and party's, and i have never missed a sporting event....I've put my sons life before my own....just like now I will teach my son to watch as I stand tall and the truth will come out...u have hurt my son more than any party could have..maybe u should be charged too...and to make it clear yes he is my son and yes he is my friend and yes he is my hero...

Sinister's Opinion:

If Viger ever needs another son, Sinister would like to be the first to call you mommy. Seems like everyone is blowing this thing out of proportion. After all, a little peak and a sniff here and there will not damage this 16 year old. C'mon people, knock it off and move on to something more important.

Human Remains Found on Mississippi Beach Identified as New Orleans Dancer Jaren Lockhart

Bay St. Louis, Mississippi

Last week, Thursday as a matter of fact, a construction crew working on a beach in Bay St. Louis found the torso of an unidentified white female.

Police discovered the torso had a stab wound to the chest. I say torso, because the body was missing the head, legs and both arms.

A couple of days later, more body parts began to wash ashore and a fisherman found a calf, along with women’s clothing.

This week, pathologists and police feel confident the victim is 22-year-old Jaren Lockhart of New Orleans, who had been reported missing last Wednesday. Her boyfriend says that he last saw Jaren Tuesday evening after she took a cab from a motel to Bourbon Street. It was there, that Jaren worked as a dancer. She was last seen on surveillance video leaving work early Wednesday morning.

Police are waiting on DNA results, but say they have matched Lockhart’s tattoos to those found on the the remains. They also stated the clothes she is seen wearing in the video matches the items discovered with the body parts.

Hancock County Lead Investigator Glenn Grannan says after almost positively identifying the victim, the investigation has turned to trying to determine who is responsible for this heinous act.

They will also continue to look for additional body parts and continue to review surveillance video from other nearby businesses.

Jaren Lockhart leaves behind a 3-year-old daughter.

If you have any information about Lockhart’s murder, you are asked to call the Hancock County Sheriff’s Department immediately at 228-466-6910.

A couple of Facebook pages have been created in her honor, along with the YouTube video below.

NY Hotdog Vendor Catherine Scalia Busted Twice for Offering Special “Sides”

Long Island, New York

For many New Yorkers, there is nothing better than getting their hands on a sausage to satisfy their hunger, which may be why there are so many hot dog vendors in New York. For one vendor named Catherine Scalia, police say, she’s the one having trouble curbing the craving for kielbasa.

Police arrested the 45-year-old hot dog vendor and alleged hooker Thursday night, after she offered an off-menu item to an undercover police officer. She then took him back to her East Rockaway apartment for the steamy side dish.

The mother of four pleaded not guilty to a prostitution charge and was held on $2,000 bail.

This marks the second time Scalia has been in the pokey for offering the pokey. She and a friend were arrested back in 2004 for running prostitution out of a hot dog truck.

Cops recently discovered she was back in business after disgusted residents near her Baldwin stand complained she was handing out suggestive business cards along with hot dogs.

Titled “Strips-R-Us” and featuring a dated photo, the cards offer bachelor-party services, “one-on-one strips” and a “topless cleaning service.”

An undercover cop paid a visit to the stand Thursday and bought two hot dogs and water for $5 before the “specials” were announced.

“She agreed to manually stimulate him for an additional $50,” said Nassau County Police spokesman Kevin Smith.