Ohio Subway Sandwich Artist Ian Jett Lets His Sex Organ and Loaf of Bread Get Him Canned

Columbus, Ohio

I remember when a friend of mine revealed that she once worked at Subway. She went on to tell me too much information, like how one slow day, a male co-worker decided to teabag the cold cuts. I vowed then to never eat at Subway ever again.

This week, my strong conviction has been staunchly affirmed once again. That is after a douche bag in Columbus, Ohio named Ian Jett, who works at Subway, posted a photo online of his penis touching a loaf of bread. The caption read, "My name is @ianjett and I will be your sandwich artist today."

Another photo was posted by Jett’s friend, Cameron Boggs, depicting a bottle of frozen pee, yes by way of the freezer at Subway.

Store employees confirmed that Boggs and Jett currently work at the Subway location at Tuttle Crossing Boulevard in Columbus.

Ian Jett (L) Cameron Boggs (R)

Other photos posted on the pairs Twitter and Instagram pages include Subway bread molded into the shape of a penis.

Update:

Subway has confirmed that the two men have been fired.

Virginia Police Officer Christopher Roush Sets Masturbation Record: Facing Multiple Charges for 'Pulling It' from His Front Porch

Newport News, Virginia

It’s no secret that all the pressures of police work can really bring on the need for a release. Well, according to police in Newport News, one of their colleagues has found the perfect way to relax – well, sort of.

Newport News Police Officer Christopher Roush, 41, was first arrested on April 7, after police said he exposed himself at his front door on Harpersville Road, masturbating in view of passers-by. At the time, Roush was charged with exposing himself to two people, and faced three misdemeanor counts.

However, since that time, the court is almost running out of ink and paper, as the charges continue to multiply. Court documents now list the initials of six people who were subjected to viewing Roush "yank his chain" on that April day. The misdemeanor charges against Roush have quadrupled to 12 counts — seven counts of indecent exposure and five counts of making an "obscene sexual display."

There’s also a felony charge now, as one of the victims happened to be a child under the age of 15-years old. That earned him a charge of taking indecent liberties with a child.

"Christopher E. Roush ... did knowingly, intentionally and with lascivious intent expose his or her sexual or genital parts to ... a child under the age of 15 years," according to the indictment.

Roush turned himself in on Saturday and was released on an $11,000 bond. In a brief arraignment in Circuit Court on Monday, Roush waived the reading of the 13 indictments against him.

Court documents paint the ugly picture of a day filled with porch penis pulling.

According to the initial criminal complaint filed against the officer in General District Court, police responded to Roush's home on Harpersville Rood about 9 a.m. on April 7. An officer arrived and saw a man pointing at Roush's home from across the street.

The officer then turned and saw Roush standing in his doorway "entirely nude," holding the glass door open and pointing back "at the citizen from across the street," the complaint said. The officer then made a U-turn, the complaint said, and "Mr. Roush withdrew into the home and closed both the glass and the wooden door."

Later, the complaint said, police spoke with a woman who told them that she saw a man standing on the front porch of the same home, "holding the door open" with one hand and masturbating with the other. After she made a U-Turn, the woman told police, the man "was still masturbating on the front porch," the complaint said.

The woman later picked Roush out of a photo spread as the man she saw, police said.

Roush is not only a master at masturbation, but also a master police officer who has been with the department for nine years and was assigned to the South Precinct of the city. Since his arrest, he's been on administrative leave without pay.

Florida Backpage Bimbo Priscilla Vaughn Busted for Biting Penis

Orlando, Florida

If you’re a huntin’ a little lovin’ and companionship, and thinkin’ about turning to Backpage, you might want to take a moment to let your big head do the thinking.

You see, one gentleman learned his lesson the hard way after responding to the escort classifieds on the popular classifieds website.

The woman he met on the other end of the adult escort ad was Priscilla Vaughn, not really a beauty queen, but haven’t we all been in a similar pinch at one point or another?

Following a nice, elegant dinner at Applebees, the couple wound up at a hotel. Maybe to help get in the mood, Vaughn consumed ecstasy, marijuana and even a little alcohol before “going downtown” on the man.

However, according to authorities, Vaughn’s idea of a blowjob is about as painful as a blow torch. She allegedly started biting his penis and genitals, causing them to bleed.

The man told deputies it appeared as if she was "trying to eat his penis and testicles." He tried to fight her off but said she was too powerful as she tried to gouge his eyes out, according to the sheriff's report.

The man also suffered from scratches on his leg, abdomen, chest and fingers. After leaving him with a bleeding member, Vaughn took his car keys and broke his phone so he couldn't call for help, according to the report.

The man told deputies he locked himself in the bathroom until authorities arrived, responding to multiple callers reporting screaming and growling noises from the room.

Responding deputies said Vaughn continued to growl and snarl at them as they placed her under arrested for aggravated battery, attempted second-degree murder, false imprisonment and tampering with witness to hinder communication to law enforcement.

The victim and his member were treated by Fire Rescue and trauma center personnel at Orlando Regional Medical Center.

Texas Police Officer Miles Stedman Dumas Flashed His Jeweled Penis At Bar, Started a Fight, Stabbed a Man

Houston, Texas

When Houston police officer Miles Dumas traveled to nearby beach town Galveston, he probably never dreamed his night would end on such a sour note.

Galveston Police arrested Dumas after they say he created quite a disturbance at The Tsunami Bar. One has to guess that the officer was looking to score. After all, he did take the time to expose his genitals to a number of bar patrons. Witnesses say Dumas was hell-bent on showing off the jewelry attached close to the family jewels. If there is one thing I have learned about women, most of them prefer the bigger jewels. And seeing how Dumas started a brawl soon after, I am assuming he came up a little short.

Investigators say that some of the male patrons did not have the same appreciation for the jewelry as Dumas did and escorted him outside. That’s when, according to police, Dumas and two friends became physical. During the altercation, one friend of Dumas pistol-whipped one of the patrons and Dumas stabbed another. The three two men fled the scene, but police caught up with Dumas and Michael Brady. The search is still on for the third friend.

Miles Stedman Dumas, 24, has been charged with indecent exposure and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

HPD spokeswoman Jodi Silva says Dumbass Dumas has been relieved of duty for criminal activity.

: MyFoxHouston.com

Texan Cristal Richardson Cut Off Man’s Penis Before Stabbing Him To Death, Cops Say

Dallas, Texas

I vaguely remember hearing of a spoof song called detachable penis at one time or another, but can’t remember all the lyrics. Thanks to a Dallas woman, the vision is coming back to me, along with a growing pain down south.

Police say they have arrested 28-year-old Cristal Richardson, after she allegedly cut off a man's penis and then stabbed him to death.

Officers with the Dallas Police Department were called to a Motel 6 on Saturday morning, after a security guard heard a loud argument coming from a third floor and went to investigate.

By the time the security guard made it to the top of the stairwell, he reportedly saw a naked Richardson walking down the hall covered in blood.

Investigators say Richardson had checked into the room alone the previous day.

Once at the motel, police officers discovered a man dead inside Richardson's room. The man had been repeatedly stabbed with his throat cut. His penis and scrotum had also been cut off, according to an arrest affidavit.

Richardson, suffering minor injuries, was taken to a local hospital for treatment.

A search of the room revealed a large bloody folding knife. The victim, identified as 34-year-old Cedric Owens, has an extensive criminal history that includes aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, theft, drug possession and drunk driving and now, a missing penis.

Richardson, who is also a convicted felon, was booked into jail on murder charges. No bail has been set in the case.