Florida Thief Shaylynn Suckel Really Sucks at Shoplifting

DeLand, Florida

It is not uncommon to find a number of previous mugshots of someone who is charged with a crime.

Many are repeat offenders, with a long history on the wrong side of the law.

However, in the case of accused shoplifter Shaylynn Suckel, all I can say is Daaaaaamn!

Putting her name aside, because you can make your own jokes, the 22-year-old Suckel’s latest jail portrait is a result of a shoplifting incident down at the local Walmart.

Police said Suckel hid some baby merchandise in her purse and walked out of the store. A Walmart employee tried to stop her and asked an off-duty deputy for help, leading to a foot chase, police said. Suckel was carrying her toddler during the chase and for a moment, fell out of the officer’s sight.

The officer eventually found Suckel, who was hiding under some metal sheets with the child. The child, by the way, suffered several cuts.

Suckel faces charges of an act that could result in the physical or mental injury of a child, obstructing an officer without violence and petty theft, a DeLand police arrest report shows.

The child was turned over to the Department of Children & Families, police said.

Suckel was released Wednesday from the Volusia County Branch Jail after posting bond.

Florida JC Penney Store Manager Chelsey Edwards Pawns Store Jewelry to Get Her Repossessed Car Back

Boynton Beach, Florida

As if JC Penney’s doesn’t already have enough crap on its plate, considering the recent terrible earnings report – sending stockholders running, now it seems they have an employee thief on their hands.

Chelsey Adele Edwards, a 25-year-old beauty from Lantana, was jailed Friday after she allegedly stole jewelry from the JC Penney store she managed.

Authorities say that Edwards reportedly stole several pieces of jewelry from the J. C. Penney at the Boynton Beach Mall, where she was employed as a store manager. She then approached a loss prevention officer with a men's necklace, ring, and bracelet, claiming that she had found it in a store safe.

Investigators say the officer told Edwards to put the jewelry back into the safe until he could look into the matter. He later received a tip, however, that she had pawned the jewelry in an attempt to get her repossessed car back.

The loss prevention officer reported back to the safe, to check its contents, only the necklace was left. Officers later confirmed that she had pawned the bracelet and ring for $500 at a West Palm Beach pawn shop. The items were valued at $1,034.

Edwards was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail and charged with receiving stolen property, larceny, and fraud. She was released Saturday after posting $9,000 bail.

Samantha Ketcham Didn’t Make Aggie Yell Leader, Not Very Good As Bike Thief Either, Cops Say

College Station, Texas

For the two of you those of you familiar with Texas A&M, you might remember the name Samantha Ketcham. She tried to break Aggie tradition and become the first female yell leader. She gave it a good run, but wasn’t successful in the end.

According to university police, that’s exactly what happened when Ketcham tried her hand at stealing bikes. She wasn’t successful. Police arrested Samantha Ketcham on Sunday after a couple of bait bikes were stolen from the bike rack south of Underwood Hall. Police had set-up the bait bikes to target area bike thefts. The bait bikes belong to university police and are equipped with GPS tracking devices.

According to police, investigators found the bikes in Ketcham's room at Mosher Hall. The arrest report states that Ketcham admitted to police that she and another individual took the bike.

Ketchum has been charged with two counts of theft; a class B misdemeanor. The case has been turned over to the county attorney's office.

On a positive note, some are saying Ketcham’s yelling has improved since being arrested.

Texas Dental Workers Heather Ricks Terry and Mary Dorsey Have a Particular Oral Fetish: Gold Teeth That Is!

Mary Dorsey

Lufkin, Texas

A couple of East Texas women have been arrested and charged with stealing gold meant for dental procedures. Rather than the gold being used for tooth fillings, cops say Heather Ricks Terry and Mary Dorsey thought the gold would better serve as a filling for their pockets. The two women developed the ‘sticky fingers’ while working at the Palmer and Ross Dental Group.

Dr. David Palmer learned about the scam from another employee and contacted police. In November, after lifting the gold from their employer, 30-year-old Heather Terry and 42-year-old Mary Dorsey attended a gold party. After approaching the buying table, the two women walked away with $3,600. Apparently, the greed continued to grow, guiding Terry and Dorsey to a similar party in December. This time around, the gold wasn’t as pure, I guess you could say. In fact, according to investigators, one piece of gold still had a bloody tooth attached to it.

Now I thought that Heather Terry looks like the type of girl who, if she ran across a penis sprinkled with Vicodin powder, would….you know…

In January, as it turns out, Terry lost her job and was charged with four counts of prescription fraud. In addition to being a thief, she’s also accused of being a Vicodin whore forging prescriptions for Vicodin.

In all, police say the two women swiped a total of $5,000 from the Palmer and Ross Dental Group. If convicted of state jail felony theft, they could spend up to two years behind bars. In the case of Heather Terry, she could be brushing those pearly whites in the combo jail commode-sink-water-fountain-unit a little longer. Don’t worry Heather, take a Vicodin and it will be over before you know it.

Over on her Facebook Page, Terry likes The Lufkin Daily News and KTRE. I wonder how she feels about them now?

Ryan Jarvis Learns Posting Stolen Engagement Ring on Facebook is Not Too Smart

Ryan Jarvis

Burlington, Vermont

In a way, I have to feel for the guy. I mean, for someone that looks like him to hang on to someone that looks like her, calls for extraordinary measures.

Amber Lafountain (from her Model Mayhem Profile)

And so, the story unfolds. Ryan Jarvis walks into a local Zales store and takes a closer look at a $3,199 engagement ring. Feeling confident the white gold solitaire ring will surely captivate his girlfriend, aspiring model Amber Lafountain, he grabbed the ring and fled the store.

Later, Jarvis popped the question to Lafountain and it seems the goal to captivate her worked. In fact, she was so captivated, that she decided to post a picture of the ring on Facebook.

On Tuesday, detectives received tips from three anonymous sources that stated they were friends with Lafountain and believed her new engagement ring might be the one that had been shown stolen in local news broadcasts.

Police caught up with Amber Lafountain later in the day and successfully matched her engagement ring's serial number with the serial number reported stolen by Zales officials.

It appears that Lafountain was not aware the ring was stolen, but was simply suffering from a blond moment.

Jarvis, who was arrested a short time later, told police that he stole the ring because he wasn't able to afford the ring he wanted.

He pleaded "not guilty" to retail theft on Wednesday. He was conditionally released from jail without bail.

Ryan Jarvis Facebook

Amber Lafountain Facebook

Amber Lafountain Model Mayhem

Amber Lafountain Myspace

Dannial Ashley Was Arrested for Bulge In His Pants

Dannial Ashley

Naples, Florida

Ladies, if you noticed a bulge in the pants of Dannial Ashley of Florida, well, don’t go getting’ your hopes up.

As it turns out, the 31-year-old Naples man had simply stuffed some steaks and a couple of candles in his pants. He was hoping to avoid paying for them, as he fled the local grocery store. However, several of the store's employees witnessed all of the stuffing going on. One of them followed Ashley and somehow returned him to the store.

Police arrested Ashley and charged him with retail theft under $100. This follows an arrest two weeks earlier for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

In both instances, Ashley posted bond.

The steaks and candles were returned to the store. I think you can find them in the bargain bin.